Confessions of a Former Unlicensed Art Teacher

So yeah, I used to teach art ~ not at schools, as such, meaning, I wasn’t on the staff, or faculty ~ I would need a licence or I would’ve had to pass the LET (which is no walk in the park, and I have the deepest respect for anybody who’s passed it) for that.

Having made that full disclosure, I did spend quite a few years teaching art ~ in workshops, mostly (a few at a few schools, as a sort of art club moderator, I suppose you would call it). I taught kids, mostly, although I had taught babies (literal, months-old babies), teens, and seniors (as in older than me or as old as my mum and dad).

I taught classes (as in groups of students) and I taught one-on-one (or two, or three, if the student had siblings, or a cousin ~ usually in people’s homes. And I taught all sorts of things ~ drawing, arts and crafts, illustration, watercolour, acrylic ~ the last time I ever taught was an oil class at the museum (which was when I wrote this guide).

CONFESSION NO. 1

I never really, wanted to be an art teacher ~ it was just something I fell into, I mean, who couldn’t use a little extra moolers sometimes, right? And then, there was a time in my life when the folks I was teaching alongside wanted to put up a company that gave lessons to people in a sort of ‘travelling circus’ model, and I was privileged enough to be asked to join them.

Long story short ~ I did join them, and the company evolved into various iterations until we, pulled the plug on it by mutual consent before we hit our 10th year together. And save that last oil painting workshop (which I was asked to teach), I hadn’t taught since. Nor did I wish to. Ever. Actually.
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CONFESSION NO. 2

‘Impostor syndrome’ is what I understand it’s called these days ~ I’ve very recently learned (or at least, heard this learned gentleman on YouTube say) that you shouldn’t use ‘technical terms’ or ‘official terms’ for things unless you’re like, diagnosed, officially ~ mainly because the folks who are legit diagnosed with an official term are robbed of the proper words to describe what they’ve got.

Fair enough ~ although I honestly don’t know if ‘impostor syndrome’ is an ‘official term’ for anything. In any case, that’s honestly the reason why I don’t actually think I’m qualified or have ever been qualified to teach, well, anything.

I’ll step up to bat, if I have to ~ and I’ve had to. I was on a boat and I had to do my share of the rowing. But if I were to be really and truly honest, teaching art was never something I, dreamed of doing or anything.

I remember daydreaming of being a school teacher when I was a kid ~ mainly because you got summers off (I thought). I’d have a little record book or whatever with kids’ names in it and put a little X next to their names if they didn’t show up for class. I also liked the idea of decorating the space around the blackboard (at least, that’s what classrooms looked like back in the day).
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But teaching art? I mean ~ how can I teach anything I’ve never really mastered?

I mean, at this point in my practice, I’ll be damned if I say I know everything there is to know; I’m still bloody learning, myself! And I’m well aware I’ve got a ways to go, a long ways to go. I’m nowhere near as good as I’d hoped to be, and if last month’s post is any indication, I don’t know that I’ve made any progress over the last, oh, 30 years.

There’s a saying I’ve always held to be true, I’m not sure-sure where I’d heard or read it (probably in Taran Wanderer), that goes something like, a man must be master of his craft for him to be able to teach it.

So yeah, I did get up there and teach kiddles how to mix colours or show people how to compose a  painting ~ but every time I did, I had to stifle (as in put a pillow over the face of) that part of me that said you’ve got some nerve teaching people when you’re not exactly a master of anything.

You know, I had a student once whose dad actually sat in at one our sessions. It was a teenage girl I was teaching, one of those child prodigies whose parents got private tutors for music, languages, sport ~ or art.

This was quite some time ago so I don’t really remember exactly but, he’d drawn something and I had a look at it and I could tell right away that he knew what he was about ~ and I said so. The guy grinned, and a still, small voice in the back of my head said the dude had been testing me.

Can’t say I blame him ~ after all, I was getting paid pretty good money ~ and well, I mean honestly. I’m not much to look at x I guess I don’t exactly scream master artist when you see me.

But that’s not the only memory I feel like sharing at the moment, although it will be related to this particular student. But let me get back to her a little later.
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CONFESSION NO. 3

I now understand why this famous artist did not want to teach me.

I still believe he was wrong about me, though. But he couldn’t have known, and now, honestly, I don’t blame him.

See, I was in my early 20s and I was already working my first job as a copywriter in advertising. Looking back, these early years, I guess, were the beginning of my long and boring life as a starving artist because even though I had been making a decent chunk of change at the agency, all that moolers went to art classes (at the museum, before I actually went to art school).

This famous artist kind of found out I was working my advertising job ~ and while I don’t remember, now, exactly what he said, I do remember the gist of it. He said he didn’t want to teach hobbyists.

The assumption there was that, ‘gee, if she has a ‘day job’, then she must not be serious ~ so I don’t have time to waste on people like her. Like I’m not going to ‘pour out the treasures of my wisdom and knowledge’ on someone who wasn’t going to live and die for their art (like me).’ Like that.

Well, he was wrong, of course. As are certain people who have said this about me, fairly recently.

I can’t, change what people think about me, and I think I’ve come to that age or time of my life where I guess I don’t give a flying rat’s glutes (although I’d be lying if I said it never bothered me ~ but fudge those guys, anyway lol).

That said, while, I’m nowhere near the, um. Level of that famous artist (and never will be, in all probability) ~ I think I do understand, now, where he was coming from. I mean, I’ve got a little experience now, if nothing else, and that little relative experience, I think, is enough to show me why that guy refused to be my mentor.

(Full disclosure ~ I didn’t actually ask this guy; my mom did, on my behalf. I mean, I didn’t even know this guy, and I only really found out later on just how big of a deal he was (and still is). But his rejection of me stung, nonetheless.)
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Back to that prodigy whose dad must’ve thought I was full of shite

So to expound on why I think that famous artist didn’t want to be my art teacher, allow me to go back to that teenage girl who, for some reason, I ended up teaching all the way up to when she went to uni and started interning at some fancy schmancy MNC.

See, here’s the thing ~ that art company I was in, we really, um. Cared about what we taught. Like we didn’t just teach for the heckuvit. We really approached it like, any kid we taught, we were legit going to educate.

Like, it wasn’t just about putting together a popsicle stick house or drawing a triangle on top of a square and calling that, a house. No, sir, we were teaching these kids (or babies (okay maybe not the babies lol) or teens or seniors) about the Impressionists, the Fauves, Escher, Picasso, art history. Foundational stuff. Line. Texture, Colour math. Stuff like that. You know.

We were doing things with a view to turning out serious artists ~ like on the off-chance any of these kids (yes, even the ones who were rolling on the ground screaming how they didn’t want to do art or the ones who deliberately destroyed tools or filthied up the walls) wanted to grow up to be an artist, we were starting them off on the right foot. Like that.

I guess, my partners and I took our teaching pretty damn seriously.

Like our lessons weren’t just meant to pass the time, to take kiddles out of their parents’ hair for an hour or two once or twice a week every week for a couple of months. We were training the artists of the future, prepping them for art school (or whatever fancy schmancy art contest you felt like winning at the time).

But see, in the end, that teenage girl? Wasn’t in it for that. Actually, I don’t think she ever was. Her mom had to spell it out for me, because I was really in this mindset, like, I am teaching art, passing on, arcane secrets or knowledge, or ~ you get the idea (I hope). ‘I know what you’re doing’ or trying to do, her mom said.
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‘Thing is, she’s just doing art for stress relief. As in as a hobby.’ ​

I don’t remember exactly now how the conversation went, but I have a vague memory of the mum describing how the not-so-little girl was interning at that big company in addition to her university studies and I said, well, I’m general manager of the digital marketing agency I’m working at right now in addition to being a practising artist.

While that hit the brakes in the conversation, I did manage to grasp (it’s highly likely I was sleep-starved x cramming-for-a-show-mode during that exchange) that what I was doing, wasn’t the kind of art classes the mom had in mind for her super accomplished daughter.

I do remember refunding what she paid me for those art classes after that, though, even though I had already done some of the sessions (I used to get paid in sets of eight).

I remember I felt I had to give the money back because I wasn’t giving them what they paid for. I (thought I) was giving them legit art lessons, like the kind I would’ve wanted (because I was serious about honing my craft). They thought they were paying for ‘stress relief’ or something fun to do.

Well, if they wanted that, they could’ve just gone to the nearest Sip & Gogh. They sure as heck didn’t need a jill.

Anyway, that is why I now understand why that big deal famous artist guy didn’t want to take me on as his apprentice (or whatever). Again, he was wrong about me then as those other folks are about me now. But I get, now, why they might think they are right.
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FINAL CONFESSION

And that’s why I don’t much feel like teaching anybody art, anymore ~ even if I should be asked. I mean, okay I did get asked fairly recently to teach these two little boy prodigies and I did entertain the enquiry (for old times’ sake, and again, who couldn’t use the extra Starbucks money ^^) (anyway it didn’t push through and I never really followed it up) ~ but yeah.

And again ~ I don’t think I’m qualified, anyway! I mean who am I x maybe that girl’s dad was right ~ I don’t exactly radiate art mastery now, do I? (And anyway, I’m not licensed!)

I did what I had to do back in the day, but those days are over. Long over. I’ve moved on and while I can’t say I know exactly where I’m headed in my practice right now, I do know my time is limited, I have at least three places to put every hour of every day and teaching, as such, just isn’t one of those places.

If I ever did teach again, it’d be a friend (or a relative, if any of my relations cared to learn from me LOL) and it would be for free (because I don’t charge friends or family for things like this (and I do NOT mean the ‘asking artists to work for free’ thing which is and always will be anathema).

I still do know one or two legitimate teachers I can wholeheartedly recommend in case you were looking for someone, though. You need only ask ^^