Is there any point in artists looking back?

​If you saw The Incredibles, you probably remember E saying how she never looks back (dahling) because it distracts from the now. I also knew this famous artist once who I remember said something like, for example, if in 2024 he did, say, clay sculptures, this year he would say ‘that’s so 2024’ (and therefore he would no longer do it).

This particular post was brought on by something we were asked to do at INK in connection with the exhibit we had going (I think it’s still up at the time of writing) focusing on the creative process. We were asked to share old pieces that we didn’t like (from way back when) or pieces in progress we never finished.

Given what Miss Mode and what that artist dude said, is there, in fact, any value in artists looking back at what they’ve done before, apart from maybe, being able to make sure they don’t repeat themselves lol ~ heck they say Wolfie plagiarised from himself so WTH ^^

This reminds me of this other award-winning artist I went to art school with

~ she told me she hated the word ‘preserve’ and would routinely trash her stuff to make space back home. (I quite understand, my entire apartment is probably 80 per cent old works of mine and if I trashed those I’d have space for, uh, furniture lol)

Anyhow, obviously, if you did that, you wouldn’t have anything to look back at ~ although I suppose you could take pictures (which is a lot easier these days).

Going back to what they asked us to do at INK, I guess they asked us to do that to show that making duds was part of the process ~ I mean (unless you were a Wolfie I suppose) I suppose they can’t all be magnum opuses  ~ and one does learn a fair bit in the making of those duds so, it’s not like it was totally wasted effort.

I think the other point of the exercise was for you to be able to look back to see how far you’d come ~ or how much you’d grown. (I just now took a look at what I wrote about growing as an artist and it was pretty inconclusive haha.)

Well, what’s the point in seeing that? ​

Just so you can, I don’t know, pat yourself on the back? Or, I guess it’s meant to encourage you, I suppose, to let you know that you are getting somewhere on your artistic journey, and that even if it isn’t where you wanted to be (if you even know where that is, exactly) ~ steps taken forward, however small, still count as progress, I suppose.

I guess seeing that also lets you know if you’ve been marching in place the whole time LOL

OR, maybe instead of a pat on the back, it might also be a kick in the pants ~ kind of like, hey, jill ~ you are still drawing and painting the same old shite, exactly the same way. Not a lot of growth, there, I suppose ^^;

I guess now would be a good time to share here what I gave to INK when they asked for it (we were told we could send in three each).
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So yeah, all of these are unfinished pieces

~ this first one I did in my late teens when my grandfather was teaching me to drive my little red truck ~ I was going to call it Driving Lesson and I think I meant to give it to him as a birthday present (obviously I never did). (I guess the grass killed me hahahahhaha)

​This one I completely forgot I ever started ~ but in digging it up I discovered a couple studies I did for it so I thought I’d include them in the shot (seeing how ‘process’ was meant to be the point). I feel rather bad I never finished this piece, if only because it was on good paper (obviously, I hadn’t learned to stretch yet ^^; ) ~

I think it was about this gargoyle who didn’t want the guy she was into to find out she was a gargoyle. I was so heavily into things like that back in the day (like this *story* I had in my head about this centauress and merman who liked each other but for obvious reasons could never really, you know).

​Finally, this last piece I also did around that time and I really wanted to share this one because not only was it a spectacular fail but it was also a personal lesson to me ~ I’m a little embarrassed to admit this but you see, I think I was trying to ‘fit in’ with all the other illustrators at INK when I did this ~ I was deviating from my own style or whatever.

In the back of my head I knew this was what I was doing like I thought I was expected to draw like this or whatever ~ and I didn’t like it. So on a subconscious level I think that was why I never finished it (let alone turned it in for whatever it was I was making this for).

This is meant to be a picture of my sister, by the way, at the time ~ she always was (and still is, actually) a girly girl (no, never mind that she’s a top-ranking martial artist now  hahahahhaha).

​So yeah obviously I had to dig these pieces up

~ fortunately, not very deep (because the cleaning up afters, you understand ^^). For those of us who insist on hanging on to the stuff we make as we go along (I mean, if you’re not like that artist I mentioned who wasn’t into preservation, or, you’re the type who likes to recycle canvas or other supports) ~ you probably know how this feels.

I’ve mentioned on the jillablog before about how, when I look at something I’ve made, it always reminds me of the circumstances I made the thing in (whether I painted it FOR memory, or not).

In digging these pieces up, I guess the foremost thing I felt was cringe haha ~ I sure did make a lot of garbage, haha. And not just for the garbage but the circumstances under which I produced it. (I tell ya, if I had a nickel for every embarrassing moment connected with these things I’d give our boy Elon a run for his moolers haha)

But also ~ I don’t know. A sense of, futility, I guess. What did I make all that garbage for? Why did I give up so many things or make the sacrifices, even, that I did ~ for these bits of junk? For years and years (it’s been 20 years since my first show, and I’d been doing group shows for years before that). Was it all worth it? What is the point in looking back on all this, anyway?

In everyone’s favourite gladiator movie, Marcus Aurelius said that when a man sees his end, he wants to know there was some purpose to his life. What’s the purpose, or the point in making art, anyway? Or for jill to make art, anyway. I guess that’s not a rabbit hole I want to plunge headlong into here (although I guess I kind of did here).
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But I guess the good thing that might be gained from this look back

~ is that whole ‘reminding yourself why you’re doing this, in the first place’ -thing. I’m pretty sure I’ve said so elsewhere on the jillablog, about how it can be so easy to lose sight of why you became an artist in the first bloody place when you’re hip-deep (or neck deep) (more like scalp deep lol) in paintings (or sculptures or illustrations or music sheets or first second or third drafts of the great Filipino novel or whatever) ~ and you can’t remember the last time you had a proper meal or a solid night’s sleep because of it.

Some people simply say ‘love’ ~ they do art because they love it. ‘For better or worse or for richer or poorer in sickness and in health’ ~ seriously, a lot of us are at our easels and desks even when they’re running fevers, nursing colds or their backs are killing them, amirite?

It might sound like a heckuvan oversimplification, but maybe that’s what makes it the best way to explain it.

Many people do look back at their first loves, do they not (and sometimes, actually even end up with them).

Hey, so, I guess, unlike my ‘growing as an artist’ post, I think this post might actually be a little more conclusive, after all.
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Maybe the point in looking back at all the work you’ve done before

~ is to remind you of why you fell in love with art in the first place. What about art lit that fire in your belly (or under your gluteus Gladiator lol) ~ if you’ve been practising for years and maybe you’re down to your last embers, maybe a look back will help throw another log on the fire (if it doesn’t push you off the deep end ^^), or something.

I don’t know. Right now, I’m still trying to figure out a few things, myself. I’m always appreciative of any nuggets that might help, if not for me, maybe for other artists who might be in a similar place in their practice. If you’ve got any to share, and if you’ve had the patience to read this far, thank you, so much, for your kindness.