When You Just Can’t Paint

And I mean literally, like if you're sick (or worse, injured) (and you’re not ambidextrous) (or have a fantastic futuristic orthosis-type thing) AND not if you’re in a slump.

Being sick (as in ill or unwell) and being in a slump are probably the top two reasons you can't paint EEEVEN if you super NEEED to (as in need which will always trump want).
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But there might be other reasons, too. ​

1. You have to work a day job.

I know I’ve written about artists having a day job on the jillablog until I was blue in the face, so that, plus the fact that I’m convalescing at the moment puts me in no mood to rehash that subject. But, say what some of us will, that’s the reality of it.

Maybe it won’t (and shouldn’t!) stop you, altogether. But there are some jobs where overtime is more the rule rather than the exception and all the caffeine in the world won’t help you squeeze in even an hour or two to paint if you’re pulling 12-plus-hour shifts. (By the way, here’s a video from Rafi and Klee that’s helped me with this ~ I hope it helps you, too ^^)

Funny, isn’t it? You HATE how the job keeps you from painting, but it’s the job that’s buying the paint.


2. You just don’t have the resources.

I’m not sure x don’t remember so well now but I think I remember Dad saying there are really only three resources in life: time, energy, and money. (As an aside, I used to be sort of Baroness Danglars and never said ‘money’ directly on the jillablog (heaven knows why). But, ehh…)

Well, see the last sentence of No. 1, and remember how paint, like the peso (our currency back here) doesn’t grow on trees.


3. Life happens.

I’ve also written before about how you’re not supposed to let nobody, nothin’ distract you from the grind time prime time (Source: @jstlbby). While I still totally adhere to this, realistically, life happens. As solitary as some of us are, chances are, we have obligations. Or, life throws you one curveball too many, and they have to be dealt with, as they’re thrown.

So the art gets put on hold! And some things aren’t dealt with as quickly as throwing a curveball, either…
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Right now I can't paint because I'm sick.

Or well I could be painting right now I guess but I don't want to push it or waste the meds my mom had to come all the way out here in the middle of the night to bring me. (Or well it was after dinner lol and she also brought lots of other goodies, too ^^)

Since my blog has become more of a *public diary* than anything else, just thought I'd write down what's been going on in my head during these *sick days*. That is, in the five days (today) I've been forced to park my brushes and forget about the two looming, immovable deadlines I have along with my pitifully finite and steadily dwindling resources.

There, wrote it down LOL

Helps to just, get it out there, I guess.
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But there ARE other things you can think about when you can’t paint.

And it's these things I’ve been thinking about now which I think (or hope, more like) might be worth sharing publicly, with anyone who might listen (or read) or who might find such things even remotely helpful to think about during times like this. That is, when you know you should be in the *painting factory* ~ and it’s just killing you by degrees the whole time you’re not ~ but you just. Can’t.


1. I've been in worse (or at least similar) scrapes before, and I've gotten out of them.

God willing, He will get me out of this one again. I’m not delusional enough to think I got out of the ones I did on my own (although I did so totally dive into these holes all by my glorious self). I’m also not delusional enough to think all I have to do is sit back and wait for my miracle, either. Like they taught us in school ~ you can pray all the livelong day to pass the exam, but if you don’t study…


2. Be GRATEFUL for the two looming deadlines you even have.

Believe me, I am. Profoundly. Eternally. Wholeheartedly. It’s kind of like the *happy problem* of having too much food for your tiny fridge, you know what I mean? (Like when Mom came over the other night <3)

Besides, heaven knows how hard it was to get one of those deadlines (as in I think I can say in a way I fought and I clawed for it) ~ and I’m gonna make it, too! (And the other one, too ~ see if I don’t!)


3. Again, you know who's there for you at times like this.

Right now, shout out to Mom of course <3 And my literal next door (I'm in Unit 2, she's in Unit 1) neighbour, Cris, who came over to bring me goodies, help me water my parched plants, and basically make sure I was still alive, haha.

And my brother for sending me videos of my sweet baby nephew (or well he’s one, now ^^) and nieces to cheer me up while I was schnorking up a storm (sorry, overshare ^^;).


4. You may be immortal, but you're not indestructible.

Like elves! They live forever IF you don't kill them, haha. Honestly, the older I get, the more aware of this I am, and I am trying to make sure I get enough sleep and stuff (that’s literally pretty much all I’ve been doing the past few days). But I guess it’s like they say ~ you can work out and eat leaves regular as clockwork ~ and still drop dead when you least expect it.

I guess the lesson I need to learn here is the best laid plans… need to factor in sick days (or *life days*). I usually do, honest! Only… yeah… ^^;


5. Think macro as well as micro.

Or rather, long term as well as short term. I mean, what’s five days (or six) in the face of five months? (Actually, it’s a huge dent T_T) But that wasn’t exactly what I had in mind.

See I’ve taken to building one or two *new* art castles in the air ~ my brother who sent me the videos knows about one of them. So maybe I should be thinking a little further ahead in that what’s happening, now? This is like, a stopover on the way to those castles. This is like that, forest of thorns Prince Philip’s gotta hack n’ slash through first to get to, you know.

Like this thicket isn’t the end. Like I said, I’ve been in thickets before. I just gotta be patient and keep hacking away. (Oh, I’m hacking, all right.) (Thankfully, a lot less and a lot easier now ^^) (Thanks, Mom <3) (And Dad T_T)
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I would also say try to be productive…

Like maybe do a little planning ahead ~ for the pieces you’re working on now or have in the pipeline ~ research, or something ~ maybe even doodle or make a few thumbs. But I guess that wouldn't count as resting which is what you're supposed to be doing (I guess writing my blog now doesn't count much, but I kind of can't help it, so sorry).

But maybe you can do this sort of thing ~ okay maybe not at work (during your lunch break, perhaps?), and if life happens, you probably wouldn’t be able to focus on much else besides, life.

But you probably could do this while you’re waiting for (or working on getting) those resources. I guess, if you’re injured and you can still use (at least one hand) (even if it’s not your *arting* hand)…


I guess I’m just saying this because I’m afraid I spent much of the past few days (when I wasn’t trying to sleep this nasty bug off) watching movies and videogame playthroughs (no commentary, of course). Tell me if I’m just making excuses, but I barely had enough brain juice for anything else (e.g. taking meds, drinking Mom’s turmeric x ginger tea).

But anyway. I’ve said it before and I’ll say it again (life moves pretty fast ^^ AND) ~ not being able to paint will drive you crazy, for sure. But you'll do no one (least of all yourself) any favours whatsoever by freaking out. Just stay steady and wait patiently for when you can go again (and when you can, start super out of the gate like the Kentucky Derby ^o^**)
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